I feel it taking over my thoughts, but I only half-heartedly push it away.
Because secretly it's welcome.
Secretly I am so much closer now to my mini-goal weight.
115 lbs this morning.
1st GW = 109.
I'd ask someone to save me but that's not what I want.
I want to be thin and fragile and perfect; I want to live in that state of reckless numbness so that I don't have to feel anything.
I wonder if, secretly, I just want to die?
PLEASE eat some nourishing foods and help yourself heal!!! Now is not the time to deprive your body, please please eat some fruit, veggies, whole foods that will help your body and mind through this.
ReplyDeleteHop on pinterest, grab some great recipes to try and fill yourself with goodness.
Don't give up now, you deserve to be happy and healthy xxx
I know, Claire, I really do. And I want to be healthy and I want to be strong but at the same time I just want to be little again. :(
DeleteSo many stupid things going on in my head.
But on a brighter note, my body is recovering nicely and I am out and about all the time these days. Getting bored sitting at home all the time...
I've just finished reading through your entire blog.
ReplyDeleteYou write with such honesty and simple beauty. Its refreshing.
You remind me of one of my closest friends; mother of 3, constantly battling the life of a single mom. I feel like i've gotten a glimpse of you and your beautiful daughters. I can't wait to read on!
Try to stay strong dear, slightly higher intakes coupled with the amount of exercise you do regularly will bring a slower loss and better health. Maintenance is easier to adapt to when your body is nourished.
Take care.
Xoxo.
I couldn't agree anymore with this post. I know exactly how you feel. Sending you lots of love.
ReplyDeleteXOXO