We are broken

Such a fucking fat failure.

Not going to let this ruin everything.
I am on track again for today.

How did I manage to go over a month without binging?!

I wonder what it's like to be the head honcho

I think my boss likes me.
It's my 2nd day and he asked me if I wanted to work full-time and if I wanted to close up the store at night.
I guess that's a good thing, although I do not want to work full-time.
I will however, close up the store.

Nothing much new to report. worked 12 hours today - 6 at the gym & 6 at Subway. 8am - 9:30pm.
I'm going to crash now.

Night everyone.

This is how a heart breaks

Today I fit into shorts that I bought last fall when I was losing weight - my lowest weight at that time was 112 lbs.
They've never fit before.
I'm glad but I am worried.
Should I not be this skinny?
But I am still so goddamn FAT.

I spent all day being lazy.
I stayed in my pajamas until about 1 pm.
I sewed (is that a word?) two finger puppets for A to give to a friend for her birthday.
We can't go to her party, I will be working and have no way to get her there.
I also sewed the removable straps permanently to the front of a dress I bought. It is the one I plan on wearing to my friends' wedding this August.
So I have to stay at the same weight or else I won't fit into it anymore.
The straps pulled on the little clasps at the front of the dress, so that the white inner fabric and the plastic clasp showed.
I just went and sewed the strips right onto the inner part of the front of the dress, so they don't show anymore.
I am kinda proud of myself!
Here's the dress:

I have replaced the little belt with a big wide brown one. I like that better.
And of course, I am using the straps, as I am mortally afraid of strapless garments.

Tell me what you think of the dress.
I may perhaps post a pic of me in it someday.

Sometimes it's easy to be myself, sometimes I find it's better to be somebody else

I can feel it creeping up on me.
The temptation to become tiny.
To eat the minimum number of calories to remain functional.
I may be consumed already.
But all I wanted was to be healthy.
To eat regularly and lose some weight, then maintain at a comfortable weight.

Several people have commented on my weight loss.
It's only 20 lbs.
I'm not skinny.
I still have my roll of extra skin on my belly, that will never go away.
I am still 110 lbs.

I was called scrawny, disappearing, wasting away to nothing.
I was told I look amazing.
I was asked if I had lost weight recently, that I was looking really thin. (By a GUY, and not a young one either, just a work colleague)

All this has me worried that I have already gone too far.
But in my head it has hardly even started.
And that kinda scares me.

Quick quote

"Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone, it's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself." - Deborah Reber

Saw this online and wanted to share.