Well, it was Monday yesterday.
Measurement Monday.
109.2
Also did various body measurements. They are on the smaller side.
Waist: 27
Hips: 34
Bust: 32
Thigh: 19
Of course although the measurements seem okay, my body is completely ugly.
I was talking about this yesterday with my counsellor; how no matter what my body size is I will hate it and find something that needs "fixing".
I know I will never be happy with it.
That doesn't however, make me stop trying to improve it.
There's always room for improvement, and every little bit helps.
I hate my hips, my butt, thighs, & bat-wing arms.
I just want them all to disappear.
I want smaller boobs.
I look at my (70 lb)11 year-old daughter, and although I realize it is sick and disturbing, I am struck with revulsion because I am so jealous.
I want a body like that.
I know I'm getting worse and worse but I don't have the motivation, will-power, or knowledge to pull myself out of it.
Fuck, if I were only normal.
post scriptum
19 hours ago
I know how you feel about your body. The only thing I want different than you is I want bigger boobs. But I want my nasty arms and thighs gone. I don't think you're disturbing. Keep your head up.
ReplyDeleteXOXO